A Year of Happ(iness).

Hi, I'm Chelanna. I am going through a pretty huge life change right now. Oddly close to the new year, I have decided to record what happens in my life for the next year. Some friends and I decided that 2015 is going to be our year. We're going to reach out and take 2015 by the cajones and squeeze. This is an attempt to conquer all the insanity of the last few years - so much loss, fear and life lessons. Everything has been beautiful and terrible at the same time. I'm talking serious shit here folks, life, death, and everything in between.

I am currently facing unemployment. I am using up my accrued vacation and when I return to work its likely that I will no longer have a job. My organization recently faced major layoffs, eliminating about 1/3 of our full-time staff. My salary, as an executive was on the low side for my position but on the high side of what was being kept around. I was demoted to a part time employee effective in the new year, and I left for my planned vacation. On the first day of my trip, the decision was reached that I would be eliminated. It was a little surreal. I sort of felt like I was being chased by some ancient army, a la Braveheart, and they'd settle for nothing less than my head on a pike. And then..... whoosh. Not. My. Problem. If you're curious why I know this even though I am still on vacation.... well that's another story. I proceeded to decide that it was no longer important and I went on a fabulous vacation with one of my dearest friends.

Despite my somewhat zen nature about the whole event, it is a major life change. It all feels a little removed right now and I'm sure everything will feel more real as time goes on... or it won't... maybe it will all just fade into the background.

I have never really been unemployed. There was a period of time, once, in which I did not have a job for several months. I also had no money in the bank, no college degree and limited credit. That last part might actually have been good, no one needs an expansive credit limit when they have no money or job. That short stint was followed by another 6 months of only working part time and then several years of working full time on an extremely low salary. I almost lost my house but skated by on the skin of my teeth and got it refinanced for a lower payment.

I have also never really failed at anything. Unless you count college trigonometry. That I failed at, abundantly. There is a reason I never understand anything my husband says about work. He's an engineer, I am not.

So here's the deal. Next week I am going to lose my job and make some major changes to my life. And I am going to write about it for the internet.

Back to the pact of 2015. This is the year where we pick ourselves up by our bootstraps and get out there to be our own, true, genuine selves. We cant stop bad things from happening, but we can change how we let it affect us. My biggest challenge is being happy. I am great at being busy, but happiness is not something I generally take the time to cultivate. I haved too many other things to do. Now I have to focus on the little things for a while.